Saturday, March 4, 1972.

A very pretty early Spring day. The sun was shining. Still a little cool, but the hope of Spring was there. The kind of day when you open up the door and let the sun shine through the storm door. Just because you can. And you feel blessed because you can just FEEL winter passing by and Spring approaching. Birds singing. Flowers just starting to poke their noses out of the ground. My absolute favorite time of the year. New beginnings. Still my absolute favorite time of year.

This day, that changed so many lives, began just like so many others. I got up with Harm to fix his breakfast and lunch. I drank wake-up coffee, he, the ever present Diet Pepsi I was so proud of him. He had gained a lot of weight after we married. Unfortunately, we both have fat family hormones and heredity and heart
disease. Within the past nine months he had lost 63 pounds. Steadily, slowly and surely. I grilled him his favorite. Spam, in the toaster oven. Fruit & veggies and he was set to go. It was Saturday and overtime.

Traci had spent the night with Harm’s parents and we were planning on going over there that evening to play a little Rummy. The In laws stopped by about 3:00 p.m. that day to drop Traci off. But, she decided she wanted to go back home with them. What the heck, good for me, good for them, we’d just get her later on that night when we went there. Small Blessings.

Before he left for work, Harm went up into the attic and pulled down all the boxes of baby clothes we’d stored from Traci. (I told you I was last minute!) I spent the day washing and drying and folding all of those tiny little treasures we’d packed away. Stacking them as Girl or Either. I never really prepared for a boy, as I always knew I would only have girls. Three. Don’t ask. I just KNEW. I was still working on that when he arrived home around 3;30 p.m.

Prior to his getting home, I’d picked up the house and washed and put away the set of red pots & pans his parents had gotten us for our 4th Anniversary. Our anniversary was just nine days before. Harm had gotten me a beautiful Lefton vase with four yellow roses for the occasion. One of my dearest treasures to this day.

I have the best picture of him, with Traci, in front of the trendy console TV with the flowers in the background. On our anniversary. It was the last picture taken of him. And of Traci and her daddy. I had it blown up the next Christmas for his parents. Traci still has it hanging at her house.

So, he came home. We sat in the living room, me folding clothes, and both of us chuckling over these oh so tiny little clothes for the upcoming baby. Around 4:00 p.m. he went to the hall closet to get out the paperwork for registering our car. His mother was going to go to the Secretary of State on Monday to register it for us. She got out of work earlier than he did and volunteered to do it. So, Harm went to get the papers. He took them into Traci’s bedroom to look at them, I guess. That’s when the world changed.

Suddenly, I heard a noise. Then, another noise. What the hell? I thought he was fooling around just to get me to come into the bedroom so he could mess with me or jump my bones or something. What else would I think?

Lord how I wish that had been it. It wasn’t.

Harm was lying sort of half across Traci’s bed and half on the floor. Paperwork was next to him. I freaked. I tried picking him up and pulling him up to the bed, to no avail. He was a big man. I screamed to him to wake up. He didn’t. I ran to the phone and tried to call 911. I don’t know what I did wrong, but I dialed over and over and never connected. I still don’t know what I did, I called my parent’s house, Mother answered. I told her something was wrong with Harm, She told me to hang up and she called 911.

I ran back and tried again to get him to respond. He didn’t.
Next thing I remember is banging on my next door neighbor’s door with no response. I must have been screaming as I remember a neighbor from across the street coming over. And a car passing by, a man got out and came into the house to check on Harm. With the neighbor. I think originally they saw this hugely pregnant woman on the porch, crying and screaming and though I was about to deliver. Whatever. They cared enough to try to help.

Fast forward to the ambulance arriving. Paramedics rushing into the house and escorting me out of the bedroom. My parents showed up. I’m still freaked out. Someone took me out of my house and put me into the front seat of the ambulance. I’ll never forget sitting there, All the neighbors out and staring at me, wondering what was going on. A horrible feeling.

I remember thinking, “Go back to your houses. What are you staring at? This is none of your business. Go away and quit looking at me.” To this day, I do not go outside when I see an emergency vehicle at someone’s house. Police, Fire, it doesn’t matter. I figure it’s really not my business and I just don’t want to intrude on anyone’s pain.

After 100 years they wheeled Harm out on a stretcher. PHEW. We were on our way to the hospital. Everything would be all right. We started out with lights blazing and sirens screaming. Before too long they turned the sirens off. Good Sign. That meant he was out of crisis, right? Now, I knew he'd be ok. Thank God.