Part Three - Knocked Up

We moved into a flat above Harm’s parents. It had the wildest wallpaper in the living room. It was a gray background with giant, yes giant, white hibiscus flowers with pinkish purple centers. Lord, how we hated that ugly 1930s era paper. Oh, how I would love to run into about a dozen double rolls of it today. It would be perfect for this house. How are tastes change!

He was working in a machine shop and I was employed in a beauty shop. I lost that job on April 6th. I lived in Detroit, worked in Dearborn. I didn’t drive back then, so I relied on the bus to get back and forth to work. That was the day Martin Luther King was killed. I was afraid to get on a bus. People were UPSET and violence was breaking out all over Detroit. I called in to work. The bitch fired me!

I found out a week later that I was pregnant. We were thrilled. That was back in the days when they killed the rabbit. Anyway, both Harm and I were tickled to death. We told his parents, they couldn’t have been a bit happier. Then I went over to tell my mother.

That was one of the worst days in my life. I knew it wasn’t going to go well with mama.

BACKSTORY: My mother had an illegitimate child in 1936. And that was a bad, bad thing. Just after Glenda was born, some people came to the house to “get her.” My mother’s grandmother had made plans for these people to adopt Glenda. My mother was shocked and said “no deal.” Nice grandmother, huh?

Anyway, she kept Glenda and raised her alone until she and my father met and married in 1942 and daddy adopted her. And she never, till the day she died, ever forgave herself. It seems strange with today’s values and morals, but that was then and that’s the way it was then.

And she raised all three of us girls, making sure we knew her story (or was it her shame?) Always it was reinforced. Don’t be a slut. Sex is bad. Things I was accused of way before I was doing them. . Oh, I could go on and on. But, I won’t.

While I was happy to tell her I was pregnant, I wasn’t happy about telling her HOW pregnant I was. I knew she’d be counting weeks and months. That’s what they did back then. So, I had Harm drop me off at Mama’s. I figured that when she went off, it would be better for him if he wasn’t there. Smart move on my part. Cause she DID go off.

Suddenly, even though already married, I was a slut. I heard it all that day, all her disappointment in me. It still makes me sad. I’ve found that while mothering, I’ve done a lot of what I’ve done---consciously---the opposite of how my mother would handle things. It seems to have worked for me. My girls respect me, but they’re not afraid of me. Or of me not loving them.

Anyhow, it ended with me in tears, calling Harm to come get me asap. Before I went to sit and wait on the porch, I told her to call me when she wanted to talk to me.

We went home to the happy potential grandparents. A little while later my sister, Linda, called. We were close. Really close, 3 years between us and we really were best friends. I picked up the phone and heard “I’m going to be an aunt!” There was such joy in her voice. She instantly made up for my mother.

Seems she had stopped by mama’s house, mother told her about my pregnancy and me leaving in a huff. Linda told her, “Well, I’m thrilled. Call me when you call Lolli.” And she walked out too. That’s why I loved her, she was always right there for me. And yes, after a few days she did call.